Busy parents often worry about not spending enough quality time with their children, but according to some experts, just 21 minutes of connection with your child a day could be enough to maintain a strong relationship, no matter what.
Called the 7-7-7 rule, it involves seven minutes of distraction-free connection with your child at three key times of the day - first thing in the morning, when you are reunited after school or other childcare, and lastly, at bedtime.
But is less than half an hour of one-to-one time with your child each day sufficient? We caught up with Jordyn Koveleski Gorman, a child development expert and Founder of Eat Play Say, to learn how effective the 7-7-7 rule is, and any other considerations parents should make about how to foster a strong relationship with their children.
The 7-7-7 rule and benefits explained
Firstly, let's understand more about what the 7-7-7 rule is and the meaning behind it, which Jordyn says does promote a positive approach to parenting. "The intention behind the 7-7-7 rule is positive. It gives parents a simple structure to prioritise time with their kids at the times that matter most," she says.
"Transitions like waking up, coming home from school or daycare, and heading to bed are natural stress points in a child’s day. There are also moments when kids need the most co-regulation. So setting aside even seven minutes of undistracted connection during each of those windows can make a real difference."
© Getty ImagesThe approach also takes some pressure off parents from feeling guilty if they can't give their children their undivided attention all day; instead, reassuring them that just short bursts of positive connection are sufficient for raising happy kids and maintaining your bond.
Considerations of the 7-7-7 rule
However, Jordyn warns against focusing only on these transition moments to the detriment of other important times throughout the day. "Connection doesn’t live in the number. It’s not about perfectly timing seven minutes or doing it 'right.' It’s about showing up in a way your child feels. Developmentally, consistency matters more than duration," she explains.
The way this works may look different for each child and each family, so even if the 7-7-7 rule doesn't work for you, making time for consistent connection at any time of day can be just as beneficial.
© Getty Images"Kids need small, repeated doses of attention: a parent who sees them, hears them, and meets them where they are. Sometimes that looks like chatting about their day while they eat a snack. Sometimes it’s just sitting together in silence while they decompress. Other times it’s a snuggle on the floor before bed while you breathe together and reset."
Above all, the child development expert says that you should focus on your child's personal needs rather than following a prescriptive parenting method.
"I think the 7-7-7 rule can absolutely serve as a helpful reminder to slow down and reconnect. But I also don’t think it’s the only (or even the best) way to create a meaningful connection with your little," Jordyn shares. "Focus on what they need and be responsive to it. That will make the biggest difference."
