When Heidi Range came on to the Second Act podcast last week to talk about her experience of perimenopause, one of the things that we related to was the 'invaluable' support and advice she had received from her community of female friends.
Over the decades she has listened to advice on work, motherhood and relationships with her famous girl gang of Tamzin Outhwaite, Kate Thornton, Emma Bunton and more; women she first met as a teenager when she moved down to London from Liverpool to pursue her dream as a member of the Sugababes.
Now in her perimenopause era, they came to her aid once again.
Soul food
“I knew about the symptoms thanks to my group of older friends,” the 42-year-old singer. “A lot of these girls who took me under their wing, they're ten years older than me, and they've all been so open over the years about what they've experienced and what they've done to get through. It was invaluable. My friendships are like soul food, they are great for my mental health.”
This open book policy of sharing knowledge and lifting other women up is the theme for International Women’s Day of Give To Gain - the power of reciprocity and support. And it’s also what we encourage here through our wonderful Second Act community.
The more we share, the more empowered we can feel. It can give our mental health a boost knowing we are not alone in navigating tricky phases of life, and also give us the tools to make informed decisions - whether that is in self-care, caring for our parents or children, friendships, relationships or careers.
“If we help each other by talking, life becomes more joyful and less frightening,” says Dolly Jones, author of Leaving The Ladder Down: How To Combine Career and Motherhood, from the Women Who've Done It. Having experienced the very real juggle of a successful career in fashion journalism and a young family, she wanted to share her own lived experience of how she and other successful women have managed, so new mums could feel prepared.
Finding commonality
“I was told of one woman who was given my book as a leaving present when she went off on maternity leave. After she read it she called her boss in the city to say how she was frustrated with herself for not putting herself forward for a promotion. She had immediately ruled herself out because she was having a baby, until she read the experiences others in a similar field had had. As a result of a really upfront conversation with her boss, she was put up for promotion.
“I spoke to so many different women with all different jobs and different lives - but there was so much commonality. Having a family isn’t a luxury. It’s what we have to do as humans - we have children and we keep working, so the more we talk openly about juggling kids and a career, the easier it becomes.”
Sharing knowledge could also support more women to follow their dreams and become entrepreneurs. According to government statistics “just 2% of equity investment went to female founders, while all-male teams received over 80% of venture capital allocated - despite female-led businesses outperforming them”. And a lot of that comes down to confidence and lack of knowledge according to successful business expert Sahar Hashemi OBE. Sahar co-founded the UK’s first coffee chain, Coffee Republic in the 90s and launched her platform Buy Women Built in 2022, which not only encourages us all to buy from brands built by women - but provides a collaborative community to give and gain from.
© Betty Laura Zapata/PA Media AssignmentsPeer-to-peer mentoring
Sahar had a group of likeminded peers such as Jo Malone CBE, Natalie Massenet from Net-A-Porter, designer Anya Hindmarch and Nails Inc owner Thea Green who were instrumental in helping her thrive when she started out in business. “Having that camaraderie between other founders who understood it and supported me was massive,” she says. “Peer-to-peer mentoring is about sharing your experiences, being quite honest and quite vulnerable about what the challenges are. When you're vulnerable, then it opens up to asking for help and getting it. The amount of peer-to-peer mentoring that goes on in the community that we have is amazing.
“When you're all on this journey together, and you're able to share, you learn so much and you're able to expand so much more.”
So this International Women’s Day go forth, share your knowledge and reach out when you need advice. The beauty of being in our midlife is that we have all have our own unique lived experiences of 'been there, seen it and bought the t-shirt' that we can pass on to friends and the next generation. And just like this year's International Women's Day 'give to gain' campaign, we at Second Act are here to answer your questions and pass on expert knowledge to help you thrive in midlife. So take this as a sign to subscribe to the Second Act newsletter and join us for the ride!
HELLO!'s Second Act is a newsletter for women in midlife and beyond. It's completely free to sign up and is a one-stop-shop for advice and inspiration on the issues our Second Act community have told us matter most: health, relationships, travel, menopause, divorce, careers, finance and more.
