I’d been suffering from hot flushes, anxiety and no energy for months when I went to see my GP. It had taken me a while to join the dots and realise it was probably caused by perimenopause. Partly because we were in the middle of a hot summer in a pandemic, so everyone was hot, anxious and tired, not just me.
But once the penny dropped, I made an appointment at my local surgery. “You’re very young to be experiencing perimenopause,” the GP said, peering at me over the top of her glasses.
I’d done some reading before my appointment and knew that at 41, I wasn’t that young. I’d read that the average age of menopause (one year after your final period) is 51 and that perimenopause (the transitional stage when your hormones start to dip) can happen up to ten years before. So I felt I was bang on, timing-wise.
But her doubt filled me with even more anxiety. I’d heard about the battle some women experienced when trying to get treatment for perimenopause symptoms. I already felt like a shell of my former self and I didn’t know if I had the energy to fight.
The GP somewhat reluctantly arranged for me to have a blood test and I returned a few weeks later to discuss the results. “Your hormone levels are showing as normal,” the doctor said to me, that day. Handing me some leaflets about mental health and CBT treatment which was available, she told me she could prescribe me an anti-depressant or I could wait to see if things improved in time.
I left with my heart racing and eyes filled with frustrated tears. I knew I wasn’t depressed and my gut feeling was that I probably needed Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) but who was I to question my GP?
It’s a common problem experienced by women trying to access perimenopause care. And one that was highlighted this week on BBC soap EastEnders with character Honey Mitchell visiting her GP to discuss perimenopause symptoms. The 50-year-old is seen telling the doctor that she has irregular periods, mood swings and difficulty sleeping, among other symptoms. She says she thinks she needs HRT.
When the GP offers Honey magnesium supplements and tells her to up her vitamins, the mum of two looks desperate.
“For months, I've felt like a stranger in my skin,” she tells the doctor as she breaks down in tears, “and I'm trying to hold down a job, juggle two teenagers and maintain a marriage, and I'm not really sure how long I can pretend everything is OK.”
Watching the scene play out felt so familiar to me. Like many women, including myself, Honey feels like she isn’t being listened to. And while HRT isn’t necessarily the right, or preferred, treatment for everyone, we do all deserve a frank conversation about all of our options.
The relief of being heard
I ended up booking an appointment with a private clinic – The Newson Clinic – in order to feel like I was being heard. Within 30 minutes of chatting with a specialist doctor there, I’d been prescribed HRT and felt huge relief.
Watching EastEnders this week, I wasn’t the only one to really feel Honey’s pain. “This was a powerful scene in EastEnders – but also an uncomfortable one. Watching Honey’s desperation met so quickly with a prescription for antidepressants felt all too familiar,” said one viewer.
Meanwhile presenter and podcaster Kate Lawler posted on Instagram: “This is so powerful and resonates hard. Not just because of my own experience of seeing multiple NHS GPs when my perimenopause symptoms began back in 2023 but from what other women have told me. Women's health deserves better. Half the population go through menopause.”
© Mike Marsland/WireImageMenopause experts and campaigners are applauding EastEnders for tackling this issue in their storyline. Dr Louise Newson, the UK’s leading menopause doctor said: “Thank you to @bbc and @bbceastenders for highlighting how hard it is for most perimenopausal women to be prescribed safe, effective body identical hormones treatments from many GPs. “This happens far too often. I am actually embarrassed to be a GP and hear these stories. Prescribing hormones is safer than prescribing antidepressants too. This has gone on for too long and is harming women. “How is hormone health going to improve for women? I actually am struggling to understand why there is so much resistance to change.”
© Oliver DixonWhat to do if your GP dismisses menopause symptoms
And while I paid for a private consultation, many women aren’t in the position to do this and arguably, none of us should have to. So what can we do, to maximise our chances of being heard and treated appropriately by our GP?
Menopause specialist Dr Nightaf Arif says if you feel dismissed by your GP, don’t lose hope. “Go with a symptom diary,” she says. “Keep a simple symptom diary for 2-3 months. Note mood changes, sleep patterns cycle changes, energy shifts, the impact on relationships and your work. Data is power when you walk into that next appointment.
“Bring or mention the NICE menopause guidelines,” she continues. “Systemic and localised Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) is first line for menopausal symptoms not antidepressants.
If you’re still not being heard, Dr Arif suggests you ask for a full explanation of why the doctor/HCP are not considering treatments like Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and they are still being unhelpful, seek out specialist NHS menopause clinics.
We have come a long way in the last five years – largely thanks to Davina McCall’s Channel4 documentary about the menopause – but we still have such a long way to go until all perimenopausal women feel heard and cared for by health professionals.
