It’s a phrase we've all used at some point: "Stop getting in your own head." Whether we're saying it to a stressed coworker or whispering it to ourselves, the goal is the same - to break the cycle of rumination.
We know intuitively that overthinking is a trap - it creates a mental loop that leads directly to anxiety - but sometimes we just can't help it.
Psychotherapist Júlia Pascual highlights this perfectly, noting that while thinking is a natural human process, overthinking is a choice we can learn to move past.
The expert says the reason we struggle with overthinking so much these days is actually rooted in evolution. "We live in a society where we no longer have to fight for survival as our ancestors did," she explains. "Our minds used to be focused on the immediate: hunting, gathering, protection. Living in the present was the only option.
"Today, living in our sedentary and comfortable society, our minds have the 'luxury' of wandering. We spend more time dwelling on what happened or fearing what might happen than actually living in the gift of the present. The challenge isn't the act of thinking itself, but our ability to regulate where those thoughts take us."
You've warned that our minds can set traps for us. Why does this happen, and what are the most common ones?
© Getty Images/iStockphoto"Over my 20 years practising Brief Strategic Therapy (BST), I've seen how our efforts to make ourselves feel better can turn into mental traps. There are some common ways you might accidentally fuel your own suffering:
- Treating every thought as a fact.
- Trying to force thoughts out of your head.
- Avoiding people, places or even certain words just to avoid being 'triggered'.
- Relying on affirmations, mantras or relaxation rituals just to keep bad feelings at bay.
- Trying to achieve total mental emptiness at all times.
- Forcing yourself to think positively at any cost.
- Compulsively venting to everyone about your worries.
Have you ever fallen into the overthinking trap?
"Of course - I think everyone has. Thinking before you act is valuable, but it can also become a double-edged sword: it can help us or paralyse us. That is why people who tend to think a lot have to learn to handle their mental tools strategically. When thinking turns into overthinking, it stops being useful and becomes a maze that goes nowhere."
"Overthinking the future creates anxiety, while overthinking the past makes us depressed"
At what point does overthinking become a serious problem?
"One warning sign is when it begins to generate anxiety with symptoms like insomnia, mental exhaustion or the feeling that, no matter how much you sleep, you never truly rest... Symptoms can present themselves in various forms: constant worry, difficulty concentrating, physical discomfort (such as muscle aches) or a feeling of restlessness or agitation. Other important signs to consider include:
- Difficulty making decisions: You feel trapped, evaluating every single possibility over and over, without being able to act.
- Feelings of uselessness or guilt: You believe you are not doing enough or that your thoughts reflect a personal flaw.
- Intrusive thoughts: Images, phrases or worries invade your mind recurrently and uncontrollably.
- Social disconnection: You isolate yourself because you feel you can't share what you are experiencing for fear of being misunderstood.
"Identifying these signs is crucial to find strategies that will help manage your thoughts in a healthier way and prevent this cycle from becoming a more serious problem."
© GettyWhy do you think we start harmful thought loops?
"Because our mind seeks certainties in the face of life's uncertainty… The problem comes when the mind stops distinguishing between a real threat and an imaginary one. If a thought generates distress, the brain perceives it as a problem that must be solved, which in turn activates overthinking. And that's the trap: we're trying to control our thoughts, but the more we try to dominate them, the more power we give to them. When we break the loop and stop looking for impossible answers, we regain control and return to the present, which is where life really happens."
Other psychologists have told us that their patients often ask them, "What can I do to stop thinking so much?"
"It's a question I frequently hear in my practice. My patients often arrive with the feeling that their mind is their worst enemy, they're trapped in intrusive thoughts that seem uncontrollable. But the solution is not to stop thinking… it's to learn to find balance."
What are the dangers of overthinking?
"When we go over negative thoughts again and again, we run the risk of ending up believing them as if they were real, even when they're not rooted in fact… For example: Believing we have a serious illness without medical proof to confirm it; suspecting for no reason that our partner is cheating on us; or convincing ourselves that no one loves us, that we will never be enough.
"But thinking too much does not protect us; it traps us in a state of constant alert, exhausting our energy and depriving us of the life that is truly happening here and now."
© The Head Plan"Stop overthinking" is advice that's easy to give, but complicated to follow. What strategies are there to help?
"The most common strategy - which is, trying not to think - does not work and actually worsens the problem… The more you try not to think about something, the more it pops up in your mind. If I had to give broad pieces of advice, I would say:
- Identify what's causing the noise: Remember that you aren't the image, doubt or thought that has appeared involuntarily in your head. In fact, you can even call it something else: "my inner saboteur" or "my annoying neighbour", for example.
- Let the thought pass: Instead of getting entangled in intrusive thoughts, let them pass without responding. Downplay their importance and block the response that will make you start suffering. One effective strategy is to voluntarily expose yourself to those negative thoughts - give yourself permission to think about them once a day (for example for five minutes) to prevent them from dominating your life.
- Write to free your mind: If you can't stop your thoughts and need to process them, writing about them is a powerful tool. That way you can gain some distance and move to action instead of being trapped in worry. Writing organises your ideas and helps to halt the obsessive loops."
About the expert
Júlia Pascual is a psychologist and author of the Spanish-language book No te comas el coco (Stop Overthinking), a guide to regaining mental serenity by transforming your relationship with your thoughts.
